Matrimonial Interview

1968, I was in the Statistical Department for two years without any job satisfaction. Though 29, I was refusing all proposals. Career, poverty and commitment were my impediments. It was a matter of concern for my father,sincere friends and relations. Dr. Trakroo, one amongst them was more a friend and less a brother-in-law to me. It was after his recent wedlock that we had entered into a selfless friendship.

Impressed by my brown colour Swede imported-like jacket and 24x7 hour necktie, he proposed his cousin and persuaded me for anod. After my nod, I was told that it was almost done but approval from the eldest uncle of both Dr. Trakroo and his cousin was a formality to give him respect.

A date for the meeting was fixed. Harbans Lal Bakhshi was assigned the duty to arrange my meeting with the respected uncle.On the scheduled date and time, I had to rush to one of my uncles’ (pofue)whose message of expiry was sudden and his funeral had a preference.

To my father my fixed meeting was more important and was almost pushed out to keep the appointment. Returned to my place for change, white Terrycot suit with white necktie was hurriedly put on to impress the eldest uncle. A few pedals to my Raleigh bicycle and we reached Akhada building. The uncle along with his widow sister, Mathematics lecturer son B Lal and daughter-in-law among others was residing in the Akhadaha premises.

Both the windows of the room opened towards the road facing Barav Mandir on the bank of the river Jhelum. The room was scarcely furnished with a dual backless bench and a small table to accommodate teapot and its other accessories. Scarcity of furniture was a compulsion due to paucity of space. The small room had to apportion some space for kitchen. The partition half wall of the attached kitchen served dual purpose. The privileged one on the bench could rest his back against the dual partitioned wall. It was a vivid marvel of architecture.

Both Harbans Lal and I were offered the dual bench to sit on with the small table for teapot to rest on. Someone in the family let the farther end of a ‘ lungie’ (coloured cotton cloth strip 1.25metre long and 10 cm wide that Kashmiri married ladies used to tie over pheran around waist) to go down with instructions to the baker nearby. The backer tied a few ‘katlamas’ and the longie went up back to the pavilion. What an innovative method to save time-energy and man-hours! Kettle with broken nose rested on the table and the interview started over a cup of tea with hot bakery. Partly damaged nose spilled tea into the plate. Over conscious of my white suit, I skilfully saved my dress.
“What is your academic qualification?” asked the Reverend and the knowledgeable Uncle.
“Mahra, I have done MA in Mathematics and B Ed”, said I.
Uncle: “Which year did you pass MA in Mathematics?”

I: “Mahra 1965”.
Uncle: “When did you join the University?”

I: “Mahra 1963.”

Uncle: “That implies that you failed once.”

I: “No sir, how?”
Uncle: “You joined the University in 1963 and by the end of 1964 you ought tocomplete post graduation.

I: “Mahra it is two-year course.”
Uncle: “What then? One year 1963 and the second year 1964.”

I: “Mahra, I joined the University in August 1963 and completed first year in August 1964 and the second year in August 1965.”
Uncle: “For your information, I may tell you that my son Bushan Lal (Namechanged) is lecturer in Mathematics.”
I: “Mahra, May be.”
Uncle: “Not may be. He is.”

I: “Mahra, what have I to do with this piece of information?” 

Uncle: “Why don’t you agree that you have failed once?”

The daughter-in-law intervened second time:“Mahra, why don’t you understand simple; 1963-64 First year and 1964-65 SecondYear.

Uncle: “All right. Tell me if my son could become professor why could you not?”

I: “Mahra, simple. Besides some resourceful recommendation, demand and supply is operational. For many posts a few were available and now for the few posts many are available.”
By this time the empty kettle signaled us that the session was over. I heaved a sigh of relief and thanked god that without any altercation despite repeated provocation I remained cool. 

Next day the Widow Sister of the uncle  sent an advice to me that I should restrain to fall drunk in drains.
Despite being a teetotaler I said that I could not help my habit. At a later stage I came to know that the uncle was somehow indifferent to the success of his nephew and was expected not to let him score a plus point on the account.Obviously ‘Pitrath’ at its peak was visible though covered with polished words.Pitrath had one positive side effect; that was tough competition. The Professor mocked at Dr. Trakroo for his admission to the Department of Sociology at Punjab University Chandigarh as a choice for a feminine subject. Dr. Trakroo broke all the previous records and got first class first. Gold medalist Dr.Trakroo became in record period Dr. Trakroo and retired recently as HOD at National level. It was a big surprise to me when he declined to continue as a senior consultant on deputation to SKIMS beyond two years contract. Despitepersonal request by Dr. Ali Jan, he preferred work culture at his parentalorganization at National level at Delhi. His cousin retired as PrincipalDegree College Sopore. Both did well in their fields but mock of the latter wasproved wrong. I conclude to say that it is not the subject that matters butone’s excellence. (Amir Khan’s hit Three idiots holds good my conclusion).