Commotion! “Mutee nahee laita hai”

November 1970, I shifted to Jammu along with the biannual Durbar Move. I was allotted government accommodation in a Municipal building at Krishana Nagar, opposite to Science College, Jammu. The huge three storey building housed many more move and non move families. Each family was allotted one room that served them as sitting room, drawing room and bedroom besides kitchen. Water was to be collected from a common water tap. I had taken on rent one-room set in the close neighbourhood to supplement the family need.

I recall, some of the neighbours in the ground floor were that of Moti Lal Pir an employee from the CID department, Raj Nagri, a junior clerk at Civil Secretariat, who retired as an Under Secretary, Shyam Lal who had risen from class IV to the status of a junior clerk at Civil Secretariat, M L Shurabi an officer from RRL and some others. At first floor among others there lived one Sardar Ji who was lecturer at Science College.

Entire ground floor public had to manage with one toilet point. Invention of washbasin was not yet made. How the public managed with one toilet point without any timetable is inexplicable.

One morning when it was still dark, Raj Nagri slipped in the toilet and spoiled his night suit. He came out and without rhyme or reason burst on Shyam Lal, the weakest prey. Shyam Lal pleaded that he and his wife Shamrani had not gone for toilet as yet, but Raj Nagri continued to shout at him. It was commotion. None could get the clue. Sardar Ji from the first floor came out on the veranda and asked for the reason for commotion.

Raj Nagri said: “Professor Sahab, tutee mai tutee kiya mutee nahee laita hai”

Professor: “Tutee mai tutee nahee karegha tou phir kithay karegah”

Raj Nagri: “No sir, kiya tou theek kiya, mughar mutee nahee laita hai.”

Professor: “Mutee nahee laita hai tou tanue kay furuek paindha hai.”

Raj Nagri: “No sir, tusee nahee sumjo ghay, yeh mutie nahee laita hai.”

Professor: “Eis mai kaidee sumjnay walee gal hai. Mutie nahee laita hai tou na lay.”

By that time all the residents had come out. One of them understood the reason why the Professor could not justify the commotion. He intervened and explained to the Professor: “Sir, by mutee, Raj Nagri does not mean the brown soil.”

Professor: “Then what is mutee?”

The translator: “Mutee in Kashmiri language means to accept the guilt. Raj Nagri accuses Shyam Lal of having been to toilet ahead of him and made the floor slippery. But Shyam Lal denies the charge and says that he had not been to toilet. Raj Nath charges him of false denial (Mutee nahee laita hai).

Professor: “Raj Nagri can’t accuse Shyam Lal without any authentic witness and proof. And he is accused of mixing two languages to cause confusion. He must either speak in Hindi or in Kashmiri rather than to create confusion by mixing the two.”

All around cheered to the judgement given by the learned Professor and Shyam lal was happy that he was exonerated with honour. Thereafter, Raj Nagri was often greeted with “Mutee nahee laita hai”